The truth about him.

There he was. A kid and nothing else. A kid, nonetheless, still one with pride and honor. The day came that he lost it, but did it return eventually? Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Today, he reminisces on the day that went past him, faster then he expected. Did he make the right decisions then? Questions remain unanswered, but he knows how much they actually affected his life right now. He could never be happier right now compared to how it all was years ago.


He had nothing, years ago. Just a boy that was in school in and out. Never had the privilege of ever falling in love with the girl of his dreams, lost himself amongst the flow of time, living in his own presence, not even having someone to call a friend. A lonely depressed kid he was, zero popularity, and a negative sex appeal! Having nothing but his ugly looking beard to brag about, he never dared face anyone without self-esteem issues.


What made everyone popular back then? The fact that you played good football was number one on  the list; which he always ended up looking away from. There was the "Rock Music" groupie thingy, which he never was skilled in. There was always the "Prince Charming" in every class; don't even say it! The easiest way to make it out popular in school, the bully. The irony of it, this kid got himself on the other end of this line, being the pity, sad, desperate, depressed victim. I think this is enough to say that he had NOTHING!


Who is he right now? You must be wondering if the kid actually made it out alive. Well, let me start by saying that he did, and he rocks *at least he think's so*. Let's start with our list, shall we? Football; the dude can play. He ain't sucky anymore, but still he ain't a pro neither. He's just proud that he can net a few and hold off some asses from getting near his own post. Friends; he's got tons! Right now, he's the awesome dude, that hangs with everyone, talks to everyone, a boasting asshole, but one with friends nonetheless. 


The dude ain't a rocker, but he's into something from the opposite; rap. 

He write's his funny lil rhymes,

They don't get sold, no, not for a dime,

Words spoken, even by a mime,

Damn, he's a superstar sublime!

He ain't no "Prince Charming" but believe him when he points his finger at himself and says "I got potential!"  The dude speaks like a pro, but hey, he can't get every girl, if you know what I mean. He ain't never a bully by the way, he just fucks em up! 


The dude turned over a new leaf, partying more than ever and living the life that most can only dream about. Some envy him, most think he's an asshole. At the end of the day, what does he think of himself? Nothing but a kid, an ugly and retarded one.


~the uGLy rEtArD~

The Suicide Note on FB.

There comes a time where depression can get the best of you. At that moment, you might end up getting yourself into a huge mess, maybe even by accident. You might end up losing friends, loved ones, and the worst, yourself. At my point of view, as a man who seeks optimism at every little opportunity and incident, I know how depressing can life be. When it turns into that corner, there isn't be much to be done, but to say "Look at the bright side," fingers crossed, hoping for a change to occur somewhere in between. After all this you begin to ponder, what's the point? Why keep feeling this when you have the opportunity to not feel at all? Why the hell not?

The answer to that question lies in itself. The opportunity to not feel at all would mean the loss of a variety of what makes us human; emotion. But how do we seek this opportunity? Death, the one word says it all. In order to portray death, one must come to a conclusion of his or her life, be taken by accident or let time take it's toll. Fascination on such a portrait can be seen in media, whereby death and murder seem to be everything that we read about, everything that we want to read about. When does change occur, and HOW?

One man answered that question, with an answer that almost shook the grounds of the earth. The answer actually involved 1/3 of the world; the internet. Facebook was a social network, nonetheless, a website where jobless people find jobs, where the ugly meets the beautiful, where envy turns into anger, where LOL turns into LMAO and where everything goes up and swell while being watched. This man managed to turn heads from all over the world with his depression and sadness. With nothing. 

All that he had was depression, sadness, regret, a broken heart, an empty soul, everything that had nothing. It maybe hard to understand, but coming to the extremes of naming yourself in the Internet world can't be such a good idea. Yet he did, and he had no chance of witnessing the reaction of them who actually know his story. This man did nothing but complain in his days on the Internet. Complain about his life, his love, his job, his car, his mom, his dad etc etc etc, until one day, he snaps.

The decision he took was harsh, but it became monumental, a phenom. That would be the first time anyone would ever have the chance to witness a portrait in the making. The amount of sadness, tears being cried, anger being thrown, portrayed into words by he himself on a simple note. He would never get the chance of witnessing the chance that he made, single-handedly. 

If you are still wondering, let me make this simple. His broken inner feelings took over his sensitive heart, the amount of pain and suffering he went through to hide all that. Imagine a small pocket being filled with nothing but sand. It may look easy at first, but how much sand can you pour? Enough for it to blow up? He did the same, he blew up. He lost his life that night. 

All it took was that one note that he wrote, to turn heads and to help people witness the magic that he created from his death. The one note that said it all, the portrait of his depression, the reflection of his sad and heart-broken self being. That one note said it all, his suicide note.